How do you like your eggs in the morning?

I like mine boiled, fried, poached, scrambled and omeletted.

It was Ash Wednesday, the day succeeding Pancake Day. In the expectation that I would be making pancakes on the one day where you're supposed to, I had purchased two boxes of eggs. However, in a tragic turn of events, no pancakes were made and the eggs were left un-used and un-loved in their box.

Twelve lonely eggs lay there, waiting to be cracked open. I had to take some action.

"I know", I announced to my helpless friends, "why don't we cook every type of egg imaginable?". The proposition was obviously met with wild enthusiasm and agreement and, before long, Ash Wednesday had become 

EGG WEDNESDAY

Shells were cracked, yolks were spilled, tears were shed but, ultimately, eggs were made. Not just eggs; but history.

The egg-making soon developed into a contest. People were prepared to give their lives to win the Egg Wednesday crown.

The contenders were as follows:

Michael for both his fried and pathetically poached eggs

Anna for her omelette

Me for my scrambled eggs

Ellie for her boiled egg

A few thoughts that will probably (definitely) have crossed your mind there:

1.  "Is Michael Chinese?" - no, he's just doing the cuntiest smile ever.
2.  "That is the worst poached egg I have ever laid eyes on" - I couldn't agree more.
3.  "Not a bad omlette - looks a bit like a pancake" - despite its pancake aesthetics, it tasted very pleasant.
4.  "Fucking hell, that is the most beautiful plate of scrambled eggs I have ever seen" - they tasted fucking beautiful as well.
5. "Why is Ally wearing a sun-hat?" - good question - one which I don't know the answer to either.
6. "I like the presentation of the boiled egg" - thanks, I did that.

So once everyone (apart from Ellie, who "doesn't eat eggs") had given each of the eggs a taste, it was time to find the winner of Egg Wednesday.

The voting lines were open. For about a minute. The voting lines were then closed.

The votes were counted and verified, and I can now reveal that... the winner of Egg Wednesday 2010 was:

MY scrambled eggs were the winner of Egg Wednesday 2010. The proudest moment of my life.

What was my prize?

An egg, obviously.